Hiraeth - A Feeling of Coming Home - Where's your happy place?

It's no secret that when you are chronically ill you often have to cancel plans with friends at short notice. I have... plenty of times. But I'm lucky I have a great support network of friends who understand (or try to). However, not everyone is that lucky and some of you may have even lost friends because of this awful consuming condition. But that's okay, sometimes people come into your life and sometimes they leave. What remains is you and your enough.

Sometimes good days can be so few and far between, that it's important to enjoy them when they do happen! A new question I always need to ask - 'Is the place accessible?' I mean how many stairs are there, is the bathroom near by and is it disability friendly?! If your anything like me I do not thrive in populated places or high-brow venues. 

WHY GO OUTSIDE - WHEN YOU HAVE ALL YOU NEED HERE?

My idea of a day well spent is opening a new book, wrapped up in a blanket, the curtains drawn and the fire on in the background. BUT sometimes we have to venture out into the world. This can be to see what things have changed since the last time you went out, to see if the world is still turning or simply to blow away the cobwebs. I understand that being chronically ill makes it harder to get out and about. But sometimes it really is worth the effort. 

Mental health charity MIND advocates that getting out into nature can:

improve your mood

reduce feelings of stress or anger

help you take time out and feel more relaxed

improve your physical health

improve your confidence and self-esteem

help you be more active

help you make new connections

Essentially for me learning to accept my disability was something that took time and patience (and is still a work in progress). For me accepting that I couldn't do what I used to was hard, but when I looked back in hindsight, I had changed my life without wanting to admit it. To accommodate my condition as it had got worse (prior to diagnosis). However acceptance is key, you can only work with what you got - right! And just because you maybe unable to do what you used to doesn't mean that you should lock yourself away and stop living! 

SPOON THEORY - HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?

You see something I have been exploring lately is finding what my limit is. I am quite new to the concept of the 'Spoon Theory' where you have so many spoons of energy on any given day. You know that every day will be different and the amount of spoons you have on that day will change. But on a good day you may have more spoons to use and you can pace yourself to go out. WARNING - if you are anything like me the day after a day out I usually experience higher pain levels and my 'get up and go, has got up and gone! So it might be an idea to plan a day out when you know you have nothing on the next day, such as work or an appointment. I have found that pacing myself and being realistic about the amount of spoons I have, on any given day, has allowed me to manage my Fibro symptoms better. 

One of the most important things I have learnt is to be adaptable and this includes when it comes to my condition and trying to venture out of the house. For instance - if my brain wants to go but my body isn't having it - I try to compromise (on a good day) and will make sure I get plenty of rest beforehand (sometimes easier to do that others). I have found that trying to plan well in advance can be a two-sided sword, which is a fine balancing act at the best of times! 

Sometimes planning in advance is needed if you need to know where the nearest toilet is, does the venue have level access or is there parking nearby? I understand how anxious this can make you feel and how utterly exasperating it is to have to cancel at short notice, due to your symptoms, once you have collected all this information. With this in mind if you are going to go somewhere you have been before and wake up one morning having one of the few good days, just get up and go!

WHERE IS YOUR HAPPY PLACE?

Having grown up on the coast, it would be rude of my not to share one of my happy places. Which is accessible and has plenty of space and fresh air. When you live with a chronic illness trying to find something you can still do from before you were ill is priceless. When I am out and about I often need the use of my not-so-trusty mobility scooter and I love nothing more than the enjoyment it gives me that I am able to keep up  with people when they are walking! 

So here is my happy place....

There are many routes to this beach from the convenient parking nearby (not so much on busy days) to getting a local bus. Or if you are like me and have family living nearby its easier to leave you car at theirs and hop on your transport and away you go! But one thing to bear in mind is that with a beach comes of course... lots of sand, so be mindful of this when you are using a wheelchair or scooter. As the sand can sometimes stop the traction of the wheels and leave you literally stuck on the spot! 

I do realise how lucky I am to have grown up in such a great place and to still live here. Even if you live in a city there will always be somewhere for you to go explore outdoors - a park or even a scoot down a suburban street! 

The benefits of being out and around other people are beneficial to you confidence and subconscious level of social interaction with others.

Some of the great reasons to visit my happy place include:

• You can go swimming and its totally free! There are also quieter spots if you are feeling
  self-conscious about wearing a bathing costume in public.
• There are parks which are accessible - albeit a bit of caution is needed at the time!
• Beautiful views and plenty of activities -  Adventure Golf Course, Aqua Splash Play Pool, Adventure Playground. There is even the opportunity for adapted surfing, if this is something you fancy! 
• Hotspots for coffee, ice cream or a beer two!

So there you have it -  my happy place. What's yours?